5号公寓住的水蜜桃

终于到达极点了，但是我还是忍住没有说怪话。

我那只为Breast Cancer Research Foundation而买的杯子居然在我严密的检查下在皮包里面无情的把茶水都倒了出来。等我发现的时候已经是5分钟之后的事了，我的手机屏幕闪烁着诡秘的光，我的电子词典不工作了，我的钱包泡涨了，我的发票连字都看不见了。这个早上一出门就发生的事儿。

我为什么要把被子放在手袋里呢？因为我不是蜘蛛侠，我只有两只手，我要提的东西太多。

哪个以后再敢给我说“进水了”，我绝对饶不了他。

也许就是那一场误会，也许就是那一时巧合，于是芥蒂就疯狂的在彼此心里生长，像野草一样的恣意。

于是我们不再说话，也许对我的问候你也只能通过别人表达，这让我更加深信你在回避。

于是如果再说话，也会觉得更加尴尬，于是就任凭芥蒂填满我们留给彼此的空间。

我难过吗？我们曾经是那么要好的朋友，好的没有一根杂草。而正是由于我的毫无防备，才更加让我觉得受伤难过。但谁说我们的友情不是仅限于没有利益冲突的时候呢？

我说过我的职业是 trust and verify。我试图相信过，但是我不能证实我的相信。我的出现和你的改变，是有着因果的逻辑还是只是时间上的并列？我说服不了自己。

我天天都喝茶，喝茶也降不了火。

我下周就准备考试了，现在都莫的一天可以7点钟回切看书的。

那天我自以为可爱的戴了一对米老鼠的耳朵，结果某人说我是哪吒三太子！

那天我以为最多2个小时就能搞定的review，结果要重新来过。

那天我以为我可以冲击20-night encore，结果别个给我说you are not even close.

我想痛痛快快的说怪话。

我这种火气非要吃他个三天三夜火锅才能消下去。

我的小宇宙要爆发了。放到我的CPA火烧屁股，我每天还在给你OT到9点。害我昨天回旅馆的时候，因为怕被劫，连出门去grocery store卖晚饭都不敢。我一个劲儿的喊冬瓜把我敲昏算了，免得醒的时候饿得发慌。

你还是不满意。去年都没做的东西你坚持今年要做，去年做错的东西你说要纠正过来，老大，这个不需要时间啊。所有的workpaper事无巨细，你都要follow up，即使最后dollar value is immaterial，你说还是document得好看。你是好看了，我们的时间花费了你不管，我们的进度拖延了你不满。我们作牛作马的，就为了你在这里的表现好看。

说什么我们工作慢的像沙漏。我给你说，你应该形容我们是忍者龟---又要受气又要受累。做了那么多不说，你还一天到黑的吼budget，生怕我们时间掐多了。老大，我不是超人，超人也只是飞得快。有本事找client要钱萨，给他们看我们今年多做了好多萨，就晓得按到我们凶。

想一下优胜劣汰，这种行业里面竞争下来都是啥子人尖子些留得下来。

What day is it today?

It's the day after Mid-autumn Day.

Wrong!

What day is it tomorrow?

Its the second day after Mid-autumn Day.

What day was it two years ago?

It was 2 years before the day after mid-autumn day of 2008?

Again, wrong answer.

I surely know what 16th means.

Honey, I believe everything will get better. I know it will.

Hang in there!

我要去打保龄球。

冬瓜教我倒尿罐儿的姿势，我嫌太丑，坚决不用。结果一直不上道。

我的partner说，今天要是因为我拖后腿而害他不能得奖的话，他要把我宰了。

于是我说今天我要hit something or somebody。

有一天流眼泪的时候，无意间看见镜子里的自己。

哭的样子真的很难看。

我决定以后不哭了。

我做不到。

做不动了，真的做不动了。要啥啥没有，有啥啥tie不上， predecessor auditor是头猪。天天工厂里的emergency siren 都在响。毒气也闻，臭气也闻，这日子没法过了。

不知为什么有个声音总在我耳边说： 老板儿，一碗红味肥肠粉，加两个节子。

冬瓜送给我的little bear被我当个宝贝一样，睡觉抱着不说，就连出差，只要箱子里有空间都把它带上了的。我送给冬瓜了一只小猴子，却经常被他扔到角落里。我说小猴子太小了不能抱但是就让他坐在床边能妨碍什么呢。可是有人竟然厌恶小猴子会盯着他睡觉，以至于小猴子经常蹲在书架的一角处于面壁思过状。

有一天我真的火了，要是不喜欢小猴子我拿走好了，省得有人嫌他碍眼。但是冬瓜又死活不许我拿走。小猴子为什么就是不能好好呆在床头柜上呢？冬瓜想了半天诚恳地吐出几个字来：小猴子犯错误了！

小猴子犯错误了？！小猴子犯什么错误了？小猴子能犯什么错误？

哦是这样的，那天小猴子被罚站站不好，所以被罚站了。

那小猴子为什么要被罚站呐？

因为它不听话啊。

小猴子怎么不听话了啊？

我叫他去罚站，他不去，所以被罚站了。

问题是一开始他到底怎么了你叫他去罚站？存心跟我绕圈子是不是。

跟你说了呀，我叫他罚站他不听，所以我就罚他站了。

我想这个问题是没有答案的，因为一开始就是强盗逻辑。

Where am I now? Where am I going in future?

I really feel like going home at this moment.

I have been hoping my company would respond to China earthquake. I knew I surely could donate through American RedCross and AmeriCares, but if the company coordinates, we can account on big. Nothing was going on until Thursday when I cannot sit any more and emailed Diversity Group. If they are not gonna take any action, I will no longer wait.

Top story this morning was how we can help the global community by donating to our own Disaster Relief Foundation. A big plus to my company is that they will match my gift which is to double my contribution. Sorry Myanmar, I designated my gift to China earthquake only. At this moment, I can only care for my motherland.

Hang in there Sichuan! We will make it!

在这里看医生是很痛苦的事情。预约总是很难，我上周打的电话，她的秘书说最早要等到十一月。 现在才5月啊？等半年，要真有病也晚期了吧。怪不得语音提示的第一句就是：您若有紧急病情请挂机立即拨打911。算了谁叫我非要找这个医生不可呢？谁叫人家人红呢？

然后看到医生也很痛苦。为什么我们的交流不能通俗一些？为什么便便要称作大肠运动而不是便便？为什么所有的词儿长度都要大于10个字母？

I am the kind who does not like changes, or too much change.

I cant be happier when a period of dramatic time is over.

Cuz I know I, we, and life have moved forward.

事情就是这样折磨人，老天就是捉弄人。

到今天，我说不清楚是我把事情搞得戏剧化了，还是这件事本身就是场情景剧。

假如我满意了结果，满意了答复么？

究竟是什么让我耿耿于怀呢？

我说，冬瓜，过了这村儿没这店儿。

他说，就有这店儿，没这店儿的是要倒闭，我的是连锁店。

看来，他还是不懂。

我以为你会说不论怎么样，都会让我留下。谁知道，那样轻易的你就放手了。

多长的等待对你才算长？一年，两年还是永远。连等待的结果都不知道是什么，还有什么信念继续等下去呢？

如果我离开了，就一定不会再回头来。

Even though it is a bit early and surprising, my sister just had her baby girl! It's still hard for me to imagine how this little life comes into her life and our world. But welcome little Stephenie!

Jess just called and said her sister found out she was pregnant which she was happy but unexpecting.

A senior whom I am working with is pregnant too. A manager found out she was having a baby boy lately.

Oh well...

I was about to sit down by Edward' little son, he turned around to me and said: dont worry, just sit. He bites only once in a while.

I think my eyes popped out. So did his son.

Oh, well raibees will go away anyway, he continued.

So I was cracked.

If you cant be a bitch,

You have to be bitchier.

I think I have visited ice cream store too much lately. Am I addicted to ice cream? I dont think so.

On a breezy afternoon, sitting in the warm sunshine, with the significant other, I was breathing in sweetness.

It could be an ice cream, or a cup of tea; it also can be nothing.

I have to get serious. I got CPA on my butt.

Wake up wake up. Kick some serious tails.

Is she your girlfriend officially? I asked a friend.

No we are just hanging around. Girldfriend is too strong word. He said.

I really dont understand. Will two friends be celebrating Valentine's? Will someone drive 4 hours to bring a friend home to meet his parents? If so, I cant tell he is too serious or too loose about relationship?

On the other side, how strong could girlfriend be? How much more weight can 4 more letters carry? Is that girlfreind is too strong or just people are too weak?

Yea, I know it's Valentine's day. So...?

Yes, another friend of mine got engaged. I cried again after reading about her story.

I love reading engagament stories. Because there are always loving hearts behind it.

Congrants and best wishes to my friends.

今天算是中国的大年初几呀？今早一出门就撞了车库门。门框跨了，油漆脱了。

劫数呀劫数。

冬瓜，什么是毒？Virus吗？还是bacteria？

任何一种物质过多或者过少都是毒。对你来说火锅就是毒。

其实我是在想，爱一个人会不会也是一种毒。如果你说是，那中毒的会是你和我中的哪一个？

Jessica emailed Jackson Office all asking whose coffee cup it is in the breakroom, with a subject of "serious business". I thought it might be mine, even though I dont remember leaving it in the breakroom. However, since I misplace things all the time. I still emailed back in case. "Jessica, if there is a bird on the cup with a black cap, thats mine. Thanks."

Reply was received a minute later." I hope no one knows whose it is beacause I want to take it home. I broke mine that was that color."

Thats what you call a serious business?!

 我告诉你说我感冒了，从声音你听得出来我病得不轻。

因为我感冒了，所以你说你来接我。

傻瓜，就算你来了我们不是也要分别开两辆车么？和我一个人开车回去有什么区别呢？再说就为了这个你就要请假吗？

有人愿意为我这样傻气，我倒是觉得满开心。

我恨你吗？我不恨你。

我讨厌你了吗？我不讨厌你。

这些都是你听到的。

你没听到的是：

我自己选择，我自己承受着。

Why isnt DongGua coming to dinner? Lauren asked me. Well he is busy with final. Plus this is colleague hangout, which he has no business.

"DongGua whom? I know him" said Carlin, " I went to J. A. too."

Carlin whom? A girl from work.

"I bet I know him, too. We went to Ole Miss together." Said whom again? A manager-to-be from work.

Guys, you are my collegues. How come DongGua gets to overshine me?!

I never want to take advantage of anyone, by no means.

I also hate to be taken advantage, no matter whom it is.