5号公寓住的水蜜桃

I am waiting for you to come back in victory, my hero!

我的心情出奇的好，是因为明天，准确地说明天下午2点，我就彻底从Pascagoula解放了。

No more junks in my trunks. No more sulfur or phosphates.

没有为什么不这么做，因为我就是没有这么做。

Reperform的人是retard么？如果不是正左或者正右就不知道reference是哪个数字么？

总之无论什么也影响不了我现在的心情。

Byebye Phosphates.

Byebye fertilizer.

Byebye Pascagoula.

有一天流眼泪的时候，无意间看见镜子里的自己。

哭的样子真的很难看。

我决定以后不哭了。

我做不到。

 刚才我妈批评我最近火气好大，跟她说话好不耐烦一样。我不是不耐烦，而是不耐烦废话。

所谓废话就是她问问题，不仅我不能回答还得问她问题才能了解她要问的问题，这样本来简单的问题变得非要反反复复才能解决，不是浪费时间是什么。

如果她的问题的答案是我早就重复过无数遍的话，我真得很不耐烦。

她想要的是我耐得烦，我想要的是每天工作12个小时之后片刻的安静。

没什么话好说。

做不动了，真的做不动了。要啥啥没有，有啥啥tie不上， predecessor auditor是头猪。天天工厂里的emergency siren 都在响。毒气也闻，臭气也闻，这日子没法过了。

不知为什么有个声音总在我耳边说： 老板儿，一碗红味肥肠粉，加两个节子。

生日那天有人送了我礼物，叫我好好布置我（们）的新家，心里窃喜。

我决定以后每年的生日都照一张照片。5年之后做一次总结。我希望每一张照片都不是我一个人在里面。

有人说他知道我许了什么愿，怎么会呢？我明明什么都没有说，那个时候又是忙着关灯又是为了照相摆pose，都还没有来得及好好组织语言，幸好许愿也只是说给自己听的。问题是：什么出卖了我的愿望？！

那天关于我岁数的个位数的蜡烛找不到了，于是将就用了代表去年年龄的蜡烛。

又过了一年。

I overheard something the other day, which happened to resolve my doubts, hopefully.

Happy Birthday to myself.

七只火蚂蚁叮了我的脚趾头，以至于我的右脚几乎像长了七个指头那么大。不仅如此，脚背肿到除了人字拖之外的鞋子都塞不进去。被叮咬的地方出现一个发亮的小泡泡，脚趾们个个红肿的像冬天里的胡萝卜，不过这样的萝卜是拔不动的，因为指头太肿了，根本弯不了。最痛苦的是，不能抓不能挠，搞不好感染了，连小命都丢掉。比起左脚来，右脚更像一只刚出炉播了皮的烤红薯。为什么偏偏是右脚而我开车又非得用右脚不可呢？

什么叫痒不欲生尝过么？每当走路的时候裤脚不小心擦过脚面，我就如同被电击了一样，如果不以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃之势使劲掐自己的腿，倘若疼痛遏制不住即将迸发的痒，一触即发，一发即死。止痒药膏也是要用手涂上去的，手指碰到皮肤也是要痒的，要让药膏在痒随着神经散布开来之前发挥效用不大可能，所以横竖都是一痒。

我说，冬瓜，Amelia也是同样的被咬了呀，不过只有一个，为什么就我厉害成这样呢？

冬瓜说，人家吃腻了美国菜，吃吃川菜换个口味不行呀。

冬瓜送给我的little bear被我当个宝贝一样，睡觉抱着不说，就连出差，只要箱子里有空间都把它带上了的。我送给冬瓜了一只小猴子，却经常被他扔到角落里。我说小猴子太小了不能抱但是就让他坐在床边能妨碍什么呢。可是有人竟然厌恶小猴子会盯着他睡觉，以至于小猴子经常蹲在书架的一角处于面壁思过状。

有一天我真的火了，要是不喜欢小猴子我拿走好了，省得有人嫌他碍眼。但是冬瓜又死活不许我拿走。小猴子为什么就是不能好好呆在床头柜上呢？冬瓜想了半天诚恳地吐出几个字来：小猴子犯错误了！

小猴子犯错误了？！小猴子犯什么错误了？小猴子能犯什么错误？

哦是这样的，那天小猴子被罚站站不好，所以被罚站了。

那小猴子为什么要被罚站呐？

因为它不听话啊。

小猴子怎么不听话了啊？

我叫他去罚站，他不去，所以被罚站了。

问题是一开始他到底怎么了你叫他去罚站？存心跟我绕圈子是不是。

跟你说了呀，我叫他罚站他不听，所以我就罚他站了。

我想这个问题是没有答案的，因为一开始就是强盗逻辑。

我一开始抱怨关于生活关于工作，我妈就会在耳边不住的提醒我说：知足吧，健康平安的生活着比什么不强！计较些活不带来死不带走的东西怎么能生活的舒心呢？

劫后余生的人是不是都会有重生的感恩。我的鸡毛蒜皮，比起顷刻之间失去生命或者家人，又算得了什么呢？

如果不是因为搬家，我的日记本不知装进了哪只箱子，不然我也不会发那么一通牢骚。

我姐说，知道嘛，王叔叔都结婚了。

哪个王叔叔丫？我第一记不起这个王叔叔是何人，第二不知道王叔叔结婚和我有什么关系。

王DR叔叔啊，就是那年暑假……

哦～我记起来了，怎么会忘记呢？那是我人生第一次相亲，而最不巧的是，不知情的撮合人又偏偏安排在了最不合适的时机。那时，我所有的郁闷和绝望真是无处隐藏。我妈再三跟我说不要拿人家王叔叔撒气，就算对个普通人也要有礼貌。我姐夫一看到我和我姐凑在一起唧唧喳喳，就警告我们不要背后说人家坏话。拜托，我的人品有这样糟糕么？我不是一直都客客气气的嘛。说我会欺负别人，简直是幼稚。

现在人家结婚了，值得恭喜一下。我姐还不依不饶，因为当初她就是撮合人。她说王叔叔肯定在想：哼，看吧，当初要是选择他，半年之内就可以结婚，结果呢，人家都结婚了，我还是单超。说这番话当然有她的用意，当初见面之后王叔叔就问我姐我有什么印象和看法，在我的指导下，和我姐共同起草的回复邮件中，我们专门提到我的交往观肯定不是以结婚为目标。那时两年前的事了。

很多人说如果生活发生了就发生了，而不是因为计划和期待而发生。因为永远都是生活选择我，久而久之我也无所谓了。

Where am I now? Where am I going in future?

I really feel like going home at this moment.

I have been hoping my company would respond to China earthquake. I knew I surely could donate through American RedCross and AmeriCares, but if the company coordinates, we can account on big. Nothing was going on until Thursday when I cannot sit any more and emailed Diversity Group. If they are not gonna take any action, I will no longer wait.

Top story this morning was how we can help the global community by donating to our own Disaster Relief Foundation. A big plus to my company is that they will match my gift which is to double my contribution. Sorry Myanmar, I designated my gift to China earthquake only. At this moment, I can only care for my motherland.

Hang in there Sichuan! We will make it!

我的家乡呐，我无时无刻不在关注的家乡，眼泪止不住地流。

越是困难的时候我们越要坚强。

眼泪可以继续流，但是擦干眼泪，救援，重建，生活必须要继续。

身在千里之外，我的心永远给了我的家乡。

母亲节是不是这个星期天呐？还是星期六？一个月之前广告就开始为母亲节促销，弄得我搞不清楚究竟哪一天是。上个星期天我还专门打电话给我妈，结果嫌她罗索还差点吵架。也幸好那天不是。 突然想起来，小学的时候有一天老师要每个同学上讲台去告诉大家自己在三八节那天为母亲做了什么。那个时候妇女节就是母亲节。似乎必须当了妈妈之后才是女人。现在西洋母亲节取代三八母亲节之后，三八节就只能叫做欧巴桑节。

那天我的同学都上去讲了他们在三八节那天给妈妈洗了碗，叠了衣服，擦了桌子或者地板。然后我的rival说她给她妈妈亲手制作了一张贺卡。于是我就知道那天的冠军是我了。那些说洗碗洗衣服的，统统被老师臭了，因为积极做家务事本来就是那个时代学生品德课的要求。

如果换了今天我会做什么？我想我多半会说我省吃俭用给我妈买了一件自己都没有的东西，比如钻石呐，purse呐。什么都没有的时候，只会单纯的想，现成的我有什么；现在我只会被鞭策着chase我没有的，我甚至不会去想拥有了什么。

那天我到底做了什么？其实那天我想了一天也想不出到底可以为我妈做什么，做不出什么惊天动地，也做不到一掷千金，躺在被窝里的时候我都还在想怎么办。那个时候，躺在温暖的被窝里的我有什么呢？有一颗传自父母的健康心脏，就能保持体温36。5度。然后在我妈上床睡觉之前我先钻进了她的被窝。她很奇怪那天外面那么冷家里却暖和。

我不记得过了多久之后才告诉她真相，但是让我的天地感动得流泪的事儿我至今只做过那一次。也许现在我会说，有了电热毯了，难道还要像山顶洞人一样过生活么？如果有一天心变得像石头一样，没有了温度就再也感动不了了。

电视上天天放一个广告，镜头上出现了很多很多的女人，每个人拿起电话刚听了第一句就统统晕倒在地上。“嫌你的通话分钟不够么？加入我们的电话公司吧，至少给你妈妈打一个电话的时间还是支付得起的。”

每次削土豆的时候总会想起一个故事：大坏蛋魔术师茨瓦凯尔曼唯一必须亲自动手做的事情就是削土豆，因为这是魔法唯一不能做的事情。他不是请不起仆人，而是这个仆人必须是个看不穿魔法的傻瓜蛋。卡斯帕尔每天都要为他削六桶土豆……

我一直想不通为什么大魔术师一定非吃土豆不可，但是他一定和我现在不得不动手削土豆的心情一样。

我必须要亲自动手做的事情也很多，削土豆只是其中一件，我不是魔法师，基本上什么事儿都得我亲自动手。 我也想一回家的时候就有青椒炒土豆，牛肉炖土豆，油炸土豆，如果仆人的动作慢了一点，像茨瓦凯尔曼一样发火： 你这个贪睡包，再不把饭端上来，小心我罚你的腿粘到一起。

每每冬瓜在电话里面对我讲：女人，去把面条给我煮上……把包子给我热了……我才发现自己原来是比卡斯帕尔更傻的傻瓜蛋。

在这里看医生是很痛苦的事情。预约总是很难，我上周打的电话，她的秘书说最早要等到十一月。 现在才5月啊？等半年，要真有病也晚期了吧。怪不得语音提示的第一句就是：您若有紧急病情请挂机立即拨打911。算了谁叫我非要找这个医生不可呢？谁叫人家人红呢？

然后看到医生也很痛苦。为什么我们的交流不能通俗一些？为什么便便要称作大肠运动而不是便便？为什么所有的词儿长度都要大于10个字母？

还是在同样一家餐馆。几乎同样的位置。小严姑娘呐，尽管你真得很无辜，却还是在我的黑名单上挂了头牌。

她为什么总是要出现在我的生活里呢？有人看到她笑得像朵花儿一样……从我心里蔓延出来的却是poison ivy.

我担心的是在我变成毒藤女之前，自己先被毒死了。

对于刚才笑得包不住牙齿的人，当语言不能表达我的愤怒加无奈的时候，我回以最恶毒的眼光。

结账的时候，老板居然问冬瓜： 刚才她凶你哇？

昨天给羊羊打电话，她说前几天她在短信里面提了Tibet两个字，结果短信没发出不说，手机被屏蔽了。查询电信，原来就是因为那两个字手机就被停机调查。24小时之后，通信才恢复。 我说，那你还敢提，明天还不遭关起来啊？

说什么都敏感，什么字都能触痛神经。

Jack Cafferty被警告了三次，打死你他也不道歉，节目还是一样的主持。据说CNN居然被邀请去观看珠峰圣火，我就更无语了。

我说，下次你们飚歌的时候千万不要唱青藏高原。

I am the kind who does not like changes, or too much change.

I cant be happier when a period of dramatic time is over.

Cuz I know I, we, and life have moved forward.

事情就是这样折磨人，老天就是捉弄人。

到今天，我说不清楚是我把事情搞得戏剧化了，还是这件事本身就是场情景剧。

假如我满意了结果，满意了答复么？

究竟是什么让我耿耿于怀呢？

我说，冬瓜，过了这村儿没这店儿。

他说，就有这店儿，没这店儿的是要倒闭，我的是连锁店。

看来，他还是不懂。

我以为你会说不论怎么样，都会让我留下。谁知道，那样轻易的你就放手了。

多长的等待对你才算长？一年，两年还是永远。连等待的结果都不知道是什么，还有什么信念继续等下去呢？

如果我离开了，就一定不会再回头来。

Her: Pretty soon the media will have another hot topic. If the Olympics were in the US, people would protest and boycott because of the war in Iraq.
All countries have committed crimes and violated human rights at some point in their history. As the country that is hosting the Olympics, China needs to remember that they will be scrutinized and criticized for its past and present stances on human rights. Being patriotic and supporting a country is fine, but not admitting to the bad things is wrong.
I'm proud to be an American, but I know and acknowledge the bad things the US has done; to deny it would only make me seem foolish.
China has improved, and you should continue to tell people about its accomplishments because most people will only listen to the negative and focus on the trouble in Tibet.

Me: I agree if Olympics were in the U.S. people would protest and boycott because of the war in Iraq. But there is huge difference. How many Americans are against the war? More than 50%. How many Chinese people protesting against China regarding Tibet? 1 out of 1.3 billion. We are NOT denying we did wrong regarding Tibet, because we did nothing wrong. Is 4 billion RMB revenue from tourism is wrong? Letting Tibetans go to the best universities in China regardless how well they did on entrance-exam is discrimination? Recruiting people all over the country to work in Tibet is attacking? Yes, we are continuously telling with our hearts to the world what’s true about Tibet. But how many people listened? If the media is telling lies, within a minute millions would believe.

Yes, to deny is stupid. But to lie is vicious because it fools the public. If you get this idea only from your government/media, I feel too sorry. Have you ever listened to those former Tibetan serfs whose hands/arms were chopped off? Have you ever read their bible about human sacrifice? Do you know when there was a ceremony, little boys were killed and skins were peeled? Some of the evidence has been documented in the Potala palace. Just a month ago in Lhasa, some Tibetans set houses on fire, killed 60 people (including Tibetans), and bombed policy cars. Who on earth violated human rights? That's what really happened in history and you can read/see with your own eyes. Why don’t your media tell you about that? In fact, if you Wikipedia “Potala Palace”, it will tell you located in Lhasa, Tibet Autonomous Region of the People's Republic of China and Dalai Lama fled to Dharamsala, India after an invasion and failed uprising in 1959. If you watch National Geography it would also tell you that Tibet is part of China. But just like you said "most people will only listen to the negative and focus on the trouble in Tibet".

Why is that? Because my country has become the strongest “frenimy” to any country in the world that we shall no longer put up with anyone lying& waving fingers in front of our face and challenging our rights as a country.

Honestly I was not surprised that some people use every single opportunity to attack China. But I was surprised that all Chinese people are so united (not only those living in China, not also those all over the world) that we believe in justice. We do have complaints about our government in many aspects and we have been pushing our government to do better. But as far as Tibet is concerned, 1.3 billion people have only one voice: we love peace more than anyone does but there is only one China.

Tomorrow it will be the lifechanging point.

What's gonna happen after tomorrow? I dont know.

I am keeping my finger crossed for tomorrow.

Even though it is a bit early and surprising, my sister just had her baby girl! It's still hard for me to imagine how this little life comes into her life and our world. But welcome little Stephenie!

Jess just called and said her sister found out she was pregnant which she was happy but unexpecting.

A senior whom I am working with is pregnant too. A manager found out she was having a baby boy lately.

Oh well...

Little bear, tell me what I should do?

I need to pack clothing for 5 days, as well as matching shoes. If 5 is ridiculous, then at least I have to pack 2.

Then shampoo/conditioner and shower gel, hair straightener. Oh and my snacks. How can I forget.

Beisdes my personal stuff, I have to carry on a computer bag and check in a truck of binders.

So little bear, are you sure you wanna come with me? Being squeezed in the suitcase for 8 hours? Being left at hotel alone.

My little Keke Ma, I will miss you and love you so much.

I was about to sit down by Edward' little son, he turned around to me and said: dont worry, just sit. He bites only once in a while.

I think my eyes popped out. So did his son.

Oh, well raibees will go away anyway, he continued.

So I was cracked.

冬瓜，问你一个问题，一定要在很短的时间之内回答。

好。

杜甫草堂是纪念李白还是诸葛亮？

什么是草堂?

草盖的房子。

杜甫是什么？

诗人。

李白呢？

（OMG）也是诗人。我直接把答案告诉你好不好。

那是纪念李白的。

拜托，杜甫草堂当然是纪念杜甫的呀！要纪念李白不该叫李白草堂了吗?

哎呀，你干嘛问我这种问题嘛!我都不知道他们。